When I was in my twenties there was a period of time I suffered anxiety and panic attacks. I found this debilitating and didn't understand at the time what was happening, for me every time I had a panic attack it felt like I was staring death in the face. It would often start at the very point I was drifting off to sleep and I'd usually spend the whole night having panic attacks and feeling terrified. Some of these nights I'd end up in A&E thinking something was seriously wrong with me but I'd always get sent home with no answers as to what was going on which just filled me with more fear until one time a lovely nurse sat me down and explained to me what she thought was going on and told me what I was experiencing was anxiety and panic attacks and she talked me through the 4-7-8 breathing technique.

This was a turning point for me, I was able to go home do some research and find out all about anxiety and panic attacks and for the first time everything began to make sense. When I found out what was happening had a name and what was going on in my body didn't mean I was dying it helped to diffuse a lot of the fear, I understood for the first time that I could get in control of the anxiety rather than it control me and there were tools I could learn to help me manage it. I practiced the breathing exercises daily and if I felt myself getting anxious I would distract myself by reading out loud, singing or doing the 54321 grounding exercise, I engaged my logical brain to help me to ground.

I recognise the distress anxiety and panic attacks cause, at the time it feels like you've been sucked into an abyss and you crave for things to be normal again. At that time in my life I felt like I was going mad and there was no-one who understood how I was feeling, I felt terrified and just wanted to be home with my mum because that's what made me feel safe but I had my own little family of children to care for, the sleepless nights and panic attacks left me feeling exhausted for days after.

Not understanding what is happening causes more distress, the fear accelerates everything but understanding what's going on recognising triggers and working through it learning skills and techniques along the way helps you to gain control. That day in A&E when my anxiety and panic was met with calm and someone who offered understanding it was the first step to change and that change is possible for anyone.

Your now is not your forever.........